![Melinda Gates, co-chair of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, participates in a panel titled “Digital Public Infrastructure: Stacking Up the Benefits” at the 2023 Spring Meetings of the World Bank Group and the International Monetary Fund in Washington, April 14, 2023.](https://media.nbcnewyork.com/2024/08/107225733-16814994632023-04-14t190443z_1771399012_rc2he0ad5lji_rtrmadp_0_imf-worldbank.jpeg?quality=85&strip=all&resize=320%2C180)
Melinda French Gates' three children grew up in one of the world's wealthiest families. Not wanting to raise entitled kids, their parents worked to give them something resembling a "middle-class" upbringing, French Gates says.
"I think it was much more of an upbringing like I grew up in: a very middle-class household where money did dictate whether I got an extra pair of shoes that year or not, right? And I thought that was a good principle to have," French Gates told The New York Times on Sunday.
The billionaire philanthropist grew up in Dallas, one of four children to an aerospace engineer and a homemaker. She married Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates in 1994, and the couple raised their three children together before getting divorced in 2021.
In the interview, French Gates was asked how wealthy parents can possibly "ground kids" — meaning raising them to be well-adjusted and not entitled. Her answer was simple, and relatable to parents across the country: allowances.
"First of all, they had an allowance, so we absolutely did not just buy them things," French Gates said. "And they either had to buy [something] with their allowance or put it on their wish list, that maybe they'd get it from their grandparents or us on their birthday or Christmas."
The Gates children, who are now all in their 20s, were also encouraged to save at least one-third of their allowances for donations to charity, which their parents would match, French Gates told Time in 2014.
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French Gates was frank with her children about how coming from a family with a lot of money could isolate them from their peers: She warned them to never boast about extravagant trips, as if that sort of thing was typical for everyone, she said.
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She never wanted to raise the sort of wealthy kids who'd see their family's name on a building and believe they were entitled to special treatment, she added.
"You know what?" French Gates told The New York Times. "I went to school with some of those kids at Duke University, and I vowed to myself that if I ever had resources at my disposal, those were not the kind of children I wanted to raise."
Whether their families are wealthy or not, children who earn an allowance — or get a job — learn how to work for what they want, and the importance of managing their own finances, according to wealth advisor and author Coventry Edwards-Pitt.
Mark Cuban, another billionaire parent, agrees. The serial entrepreneur and investor's three children grew up with a mandate that they'd have to get a job and earn money to buy the things they wanted, Cuban told Steve Harvey during a 2020 episode of "STEVE on Watch."
"I tell them: After your health, my No. 1 thing for you all is, I don't want you to be entitled jerks," said Cuban, adding: "I'm not going to write you checks. You don't just get a credit card. You can't just buy whatever you want."
If you avoid simply giving your kids everything they want, you can more effectively help train their future work ethic, psychotherapist Amy Morin told CNBC Make It last year. Children who grow up to become highly successful adults typically learn early that "if they want to succeed, it may not come naturally," Morin said.
Disclosure: CNBC owns the exclusive off-network cable rights to "Shark Tank," which features Mark Cuban as a panelist.
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