Many experts consider emotional intelligence a predictor of success and satisfaction. I see it as just one important component of something more substantial and even more empowering: mental strength. 

Mental strength is the ability to productively regulate your emotions as well as your thoughts and behaviors, especially in the face of adversity. I believe it is the success and leadership superpower of our times — the next EQ, only bigger.

I've studied and trained mentally strong leaders for decades and written my recent book on the subject. From my research and experience, I can tell you that mental strength is about what you must have the discipline to say and do, and to not say and do. 

Mentally strong people never do these seven things: 

1. They don't wilt in the face of setbacks

Mentally strong people understand that we're defined not by what knocks us down, but by how we get back up. 

They treat mistakes as missteps, not "mis-leaps" — meaning they're careful not to exaggerate the negative impact of a setback. 

Instead, they look for opportunities to learn and grow when facing adversity, and stay focused on the best way forward. 

2. They don't get caught in the 'Static Trap'

The Static Trap is:

• Failing to admit a problem exists, i.e., being static about it, ignoring signs of trouble, and doing nothing
• Making excuses and pointing fingers to blame others when the issue is eventually acknowledged, like by creating static, or distortion, around what's really happening
• Continuing to be complacent or moving too slowly to address the real issue, remaining static even once it's obvious something's gone wrong

Tackling real problems is hard work. But mentally strong people aren't daunted. They recognize the consequences of letting an issue fester. They don't deny problems exist or bury their heads in the sand; they move quickly into problem-solving mode. 

3. They avoid mistakes of motive

Being mentally strong doesn't mean never making mistakes. It means acknowledging your mistakes, learning and growing from them, and not repeating them. 

However, mentally strong people never make a mistake of motive. That means they don't take ill-intentioned actions, like claiming credit for someone else's work. 

To avoid this, when you feel motivated to act from an unhelpful place or solely out of self-interest, pause and ask yourself, "Does my intent have integrity?" If not, change course. 

4. They never get too wrapped up in getting respect — they just earn it

Focusing too much on whether you're getting the respect you believe you deserve can lead you down an unproductive path. You can spend too much time trying to right how you were wronged, for example, or stewing about how much credit you get.  

Instead, mentally strong people use the Give-Resist-Exude framework to focus on the actions that will ultimately earn them respect. Periodically ask yourself:

• What can I give? It's wise to focus on giving more than you get. Share praise, credit, and knowledge freely. Always put in that extra 10% effort. Give your word and keep it. And don't expect respect if you don't give it to others. 
• What should I resist? For example, credit-grabbing, gossip, negativity, and blaming.
• What should I exude? Try professionalism, accountability, mastery, transparency, and authenticity.

Make your own list of what you want to give, resist, and exude, and the respect will roll in. 

5. They don't over- or underestimate their skills

Being mentally strong doesn't mean you believe you're great at everything you know a little bit about. Or, inversely, that you tamp down your belief in yourself in areas where you actually excel. 

Inaccurate self-assessments in either direction can cause real problems. Overestimating your skills might mean going into an event underprepared and overconfident, while underestimating your ability to succeed might mean shying away from career-enhancing projects and risks. 

Mentally strong people are thoughtful and honest about assessing how good or bad they are at something before they do it, so they can seek out and get the support or confidence boost they need. 

6. They're not wildly inconsistent

When your behavior and decisions fluctuate without any rhyme or reason, it creates uncertainty. People become confused about what to expect from you and they might start to see you as unfair. Inconsistency can erode trust in relationships and create a "learned inertia" where people avoid interactions with you altogether. 

Mentally strong people don't act on unhelpful impulses. They manage their emotions so that their feelings don't translate immediately into words and actions. 

They're clear about their priorities and what they expect from others, and have a high say/do ratio — as in, they always (or almost always) follow through on doing the things they said they were going to do. 

7. They don't try to please everyone all the time

Constantly trying to please everyone around you can cause you to put up false fronts, hold back, and bury the authentic you. All of that can quickly lead to burnout. 

Instead, do like mentally strong people do and don't try to be everything to everyone in your world. 

Start with you. Ensure you've set healthy boundaries that allow you to take care of your needs. You'll find better balance, feel more confident, and be able to help others in a more authentic way.

Scott Mautz is a popular speaker, trainer, and LinkedIn Learning instructor. He's a former senior executive of Procter & Gamble, where he ran several of the company's largest multi-billion-dollar businesses. He is the author of "The Mentally Strong Leader: Build the Habits to Productively Regulate Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors." Follow him on LinkedIn.

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