Sister of NY teen killed by alleged drunk driver forms grief support group for other teens

Sydney Hassenbein and Charlie Dubofsky were never friends until unthinkable tragedy brought them together. 

In Feb. 2023, Charlie’s father died in a car crash. The then-freshman at Roslyn High School said she was devastated and felt alone, not being able to talk to others she felt understood her.    

"I felt very bad, and just very unclear about the future,” said Charlie.  “And how would I move on?"

A few months later, Sydney’s brother Drew was killed in a horrific wrong way crash. Also killed was his friend and teammate Ethan Falkowitz; two other friends were injured but survived. 

The driver of the other car was allegedly drunk and high on cocaine. Sydney told NBC New York she had trouble coming to terms with her grief.

"It all comes from sadness and emptiness and loneliness in your heart, you’re trying to fill a void that can’t be filled," she explained.

Charlie reached out to Sydney after Drew was killed, and the two became friends.

"I texted her said I know what you’re going through,” said Charlie. “And I know how hard it is.”

Sydney says the message was appreciated because it was from someone who knew first-hand how she was feeling.  The two found comfort in their shared grief and realized they wanted to help other teens. They founded the H.E.R.O. Project. 

“It’s an acronym” explained Charlie. "It stands for honor, empathize, remember and onward — because we’re going to do all those things.”

They brought their idea to the Sid Jacobson Jewish Community Center, who provided space and counselors. The first meeting was in January, where more than a dozen teens attended, including sisters who experienced a recent loss.

“The impact of not being able to talk about these emotions can have a real change on the future of your lives,” said Taylor Graf, vice president of Specialized Services at JCC and a licensed clinical social worker.  “So now because of Charlie and Sydney we have a safe space for teens to talk about their sadness.”

The girls shared with the group how they cope when things get bad. Sydney still sends Drew text messages when she misses him. 

“I’ll just send him a text, telling him how I’m feeling, how I’m thinking about him. I know I’m not going to get a response but it just makes me feel like I have some sort of connection that’s still there with him," she said.

The H.E.R.O. Project meets monthly and is open to all teens who are seeking help, not just JCC members. The girls advertise the group on social media to make it accessible to everyone their age.