Wharton psychologist Adam Grant: To understand yourself better, try this—'it's one of my favorite exercises'

The best way to find out what you're good at is to ask other people, says organizational psychologist Adam Grant.

Reach out to 15 to 20 colleagues, family members, and friends, and see if they'll share stories of when you were at your best. Then, once you've collected those, identify common themes and patterns.

The product is your "reflected best-self portrait," or a snapshot of your strengths, Grant, a professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, told bestselling authors and leadership experts Brené Brown and Simon Sinek earlier this month in an episode of Sinek's podcast, "A Bit of Optimism."

The activity, created by researchers from Harvard Business School and the University of Michigan's Ross School of Business, helps you see yourself "through the eyes of others."

"It's one of my favorite exercises. It's one of the rare ones that I love as much with undergrads as I do with CEOs," Grant said. "In my experience doing it, people can't anticipate what their strengths are in other people's eyes and so it turns out we have positive blind spots, not just negative ones."

Self-awareness is 'useless' without situational awareness

Knowing your strengths can help you lean into them more — and at the right time. 

That awareness empowers you to realize when your capabilities are relevant and when they're not, according to Grant. He cited some charismatic leaders, for example, who always dominate the conversation and use their charm as a crutch when they're unprepared.

"They have self-awareness, but no situational awareness to say, 'Well, maybe actually this is a moment when I need to dial down my charisma and be a great listener,'" Grant said. "I love the idea of suggesting that self-awareness is useless and maybe even counterproductive without situational awareness."

Many other experts advocate for a thoughtful version of self-awareness, which can help you make sensible decisions, communicate better, form stronger relationships, be more creative and boost productivity, research indicates.

Being self-aware means more than just understanding your feelings: It requires contemplating your strengths and mapping them onto your goals, according to Juliette Han, a neuroscientist and adjunct professor at Columbia Business School.

Ask your boss and colleagues, "Can you tell me a time when I was helpful to your work, and can you be specific?" she told CNBC Make It last year. The answers you receive may reveal a skill you don't often use that you should.

"Sometimes, you don't realize what your strengths are until you see them through someone else's eyes," Han said.

When Grant performed the reflected best-self exercise himself, many of his respondents commented on his sharp memory. The feedback helped him more intentionally deploy his reliable recollections around others, he said. 

In one instance, when Grant was nervous about forming relationships with his first class of MBA students, he memorized their names in advance.

"It completely changed the dynamic of our interaction," taking the students by surprise and allowing him to start getting to know them, he said on the podcast. "I never would have done that if I hadn't gotten this strength feedback."

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