As a software engineer, I was always confident in situations that required technical skills and problem-solving. But early on, one of the things I struggled with was negotiating raises.

During annual reviews, I didn't know how to explain why I deserved more money, even when I did excellent work. Instead of feeling in charge of my earning potential, I felt like I was at the mercy of what companies were offering me.

Now, at 33, I've learned valuable lessons about how to advocate for myself and get paid what I'm worth. And I've used those strategies to boost my salary from $60,000 to $140,000 in just five years.

Here is how I did it, along with examples of the exact scripts I used:

1. I used data to increase my confidence.

My lack of confidence in negotiations came from a lack of knowledge. The more hard evidence you bring to the table, the more self-assured you'll be. 

I used resources like Glassdoor's salary tool, the Women's Personal Finance Facebook Group and the Fishbowl app to identify four key data points:

• The average market rate for the position I was applying for
• My specific market rate based on my education, experience and skills
• My non-negotiables for benefits
• The lowest salary I was willing to accept

I also kept a "brag sheet" of my accomplishments to bolster my argument, and asked friends and trusted colleagues about their salaries to better determine my true market rate.

2. I always presented salary numbers in ranges.

This way, if an employer goes towards the lower end of the range, I still have wiggle room. If the lowest salary I was willing to accept was $90,000, for example, I would quote an expected range of $100,000 to $110,000.

For reviews and raise discussions, I've found that the most effective way to ask for a raise is to do it in the form of a percentage, rather than in the form of a dollar amount.

Percentages make it easier for the employer to see the value of the increase you're requesting. For example, a 5% bump might sound more reasonable than a seemingly arbitrary $5,000 increase.

3. I asked about money early on.

I only apply to jobs that offer my preferred salary range. If it isn't listed, to save time, I directly ask about it in the first interview. Depending on the response, I either continue with the process or walk away.

If you get to the point where you receive an offer, you don't have to accept it as is. You can take time to review it and ask questions before agreeing to anything.

Here's a helpful script I've used:

"Thank you so much! This is wonderful news and I am beyond excited about this opportunity. I enjoyed meeting the team, and I'm looking forward to potentially working together. However, before accepting an offer, I'd like to discuss the compensation. It's much lower than my market rate. Based on my skills, experience and market salary for this position, I'd be eager to accept a salary of [$X] for this position."

4. I fought for my non-negotiables.

If the money is locked in place, consider negotiating for perks like remote work, extra paid time off, sign-on bonuses, performance-based bonuses, equity, or flexible scheduling. 

You'll never know unless you ask for what you want. One of my non-negotiables is remote work. I've responded in the past with a script like:

"How flexible are you with remote work? If we can't align on salary, I would be willing to accept the position for a fully remote work arrangement, an extra five days of PTO, and a sign-on bonus of $5,000."

5. I knew when to walk away.

At my last job, I found myself doing the work of three people. I was essentially a team leader, but my salary didn't match my managerial-level responsibilities.

When I spoke to my supervisors about the situation, they said: "We can certainly discuss your development throughout the year, but we can't give you a raise at this time."

I heard that as: "We don't see your value." So I reached out to my network and used all my negotiation tactics. Within a few months, I got a new position at the same company as a lead software engineer, and went from making $109,000 to $141,000 a year.

Daniella Flores is a freelance writer and founder of I Like to Dabble, a financial and career literacy business aimed toward helping neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ folks build wealth. Follow Daniella on Instagram and Twitter.

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