Building mental strength isn't just about what you do, it's about how you speak — to yourself and others — every day. 

As an author of six books on mental strength with 25 years of experience as a therapist, I've seen how powerful words can be. They become essential tools for creating boundaries, shifting perspectives, and building resilience.

Here are 10 sentences I say regularly and why they matter for building mental strength:

1. 'It's understandable I feel that way right now.'

Feeling nervous, frustrated, or sad doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're human. Acknowledging those emotions, however, takes strength.

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When you or someone else validates your emotions, it opens the door to begin processing and working through them — instead of feeling pressure to suppress them.

2. 'What's one thing I can control right now?'

When life feels chaotic, it's tempting to try to fix the situation. But not all problems can be solved. You can't force someone to change their behavior. You can't rewind the clock and undo the past. Focusing on those things will only stoke your anxiety.

You'll start feeling better (and inching closer to a solution) as soon as you focus on what is within your control. Whether it's taking a few deep breaths, sending an email, or decluttering your space, even the smallest action can empower you to move forward, one step at a time.

3. 'How else can I look at this situation?'

Perspective is everything. When you're stuck in a negative thought loop, this sentence can remind you that there's always more than one way to look at a situation.

Maybe a setback is really a setup for something better. Or maybe a challenging situation is an opportunity to practice. Reframing your challenges can help you start looking for solutions with a renewed sense of optimism.

4. 'I don't have to do this alone.'

We often tell ourselves that asking for help is a sign of weakness or incompetence, but the opposite is true. It takes courage and strength to ask for what you need.

Whether you talk to a mental health professional or you reach out to a friend for business advice, seeking help can make hard times feel manageable. We grow stronger together. 

5. 'I'm allowed to say no.'

Setting boundaries is one of the best things you can do to protect your mental health. Yet the fear of hurting someone's feelings, being abandoned, or harming a relationship might make you agree to things you don't want to do. 

This reminder gives permission to turn down opportunities that don't align with your priorities. Saying no reduces burnout, ensures healthier relationships, and shows you value your time and energy.

6. 'What's the worst that could happen?'

Fear might be holding you back from taking action. This simple question prompts you to confront and acknowledge your biggest fears, which can reduce their intensity. 

You might find the worst-case scenario isn't as catastrophic as you imagined. And when you realize you can handle that, it makes action feel less intimidating.

7. 'I don't have to have all the answers right now.'

Uncertainty is uncomfortable. But rushing to find solutions can lead to impulsive behavior. Sometimes, the best thing to do is slow down. 

This phrase is a reminder that you don't have to have everything all figured out right now. Mental strength isn't about having instant answers — it's about having confidence that you can tolerate uncertainty.

8. 'What would I say to a friend in this situation?'

We're usually much harder on ourselves than other people. When emotions cloud your judgement, asking this question helps you find clarity and self-compassion. 

You might remind your friend that one person's opinion doesn't define their worth or you may encourage them to set a boundary. Try giving yourself that same advice.

9. 'What small step can I take right now?'

Big challenges can feel impossible. Breaking them into manageable steps makes the process less overwhelming and the goal more achievable. Whether it's writing one email or just getting out of bed, actions build momentum.

Even tiny steps create a sense of progress. Accomplish one task — no matter how small — and you'll increase your motivation to keep going.

10. 'How have I gotten through hard times before?'

Reflecting on past challenges reminds you of the inner strength and strategies that helped you during prior difficulties. It's easy to forget, especially when life is hard. 

Acknowledging past resilience reinforces confidence that you can overcome whatever you're facing now. You've done it before and you can do it again.

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, clinical social worker and instructor at Northeastern University. She is the author of several books including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do.″ Her TEDx talk "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong" is one of the most viewed talks of all time. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook.

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