How to boost your EQ at the office—even if you work remotely, according to a career expert

Earlier this spring, I spoke with self-made millionaire Steve Adcock about financial regrets.

He cited one thing he wished he knew in his 20s that could have made him wealthier, faster.

"Your personality will get you 10 times richer than your intelligence," Adcock told me. "I learned that throughout my career, slowly but surely. I worked with a lot of smart people, no doubt about it. But those smartest people in the office weren't necessarily the ones getting the raises and promotions."

The big bucks, Adcock said, were going to the people who used their emotional intelligence — sometimes called EQ — to develop the important relationships you need to rise through the ranks.

"EQ is going to get you way more money and way more opportunities for promotion than IQ," Adcock said.

I interviewed Vicki Salemi, a career expert with Monster.com on ways to boost your EQ in the workplace. For many workers, that involves putting in a lot of face time with the right people.

That can make things tricky for fully remote workers like me, for whom face time means, well, FaceTime.

Compounding the problem is that my coworkers are in the office three days a week commiserating about their commutes, ducking out together for lunch and chatting before meetings.

If you're on the outside looking in, Salemi says you'll have to make a little extra effort to be the kind of person people are eager to throw promotions and raises at, which may feel a little funny at first.

"It may feel a little outside of your comfort zone — that's natural," she says. "But hopefully it will come across as genuine and authentic."

Be proactive about socializing

If you work in the office, you may think all those knocks on your office door as mere distractions from your actual work — but frequent organic interactions may be the difference between who rises in a company's ranks and who gets left behind.

"Someone else may not have the same outstanding track record, but they motivate people, they're a positive impact on their workplace and their peers, and people like being around them," Salemi previously told Make It. "That could potentially get that person further."

To that end, it pays to create some opportunities for informal conversations with your peers, Salemi says.

"You could even say, 'I'm feeling really isolated here. Does anyone want to have an online book club? Maybe we meet once a month for 30 minutes,'" she says. "Or, 'Does anyone want to have a virtual chat with me? Does anyone want to chat on the phone?' You may have to go out of your way."

If you're constantly waiting on Zoom while your colleagues chat away for the first half hour of every meeting, you can suggest a virtual "mini-meeting" just for chitchat in the name of making the official gatherings more efficient.

Following coworkers on social media and paying attention to their hobbies and interests can help you forge a connection, too Salemi says. "'I saw you went on a road trip this past weekend, that looked fantastic!' Or, 'How was camping? I've been looking to get into that,'" Salemi suggests. "It's so easy and fast if you have an online communications channel, or you could even put it at the end of an email."

Impress the right people

Being seen as a valuable team member is important, but it's even more essential to put in an effort stay front-of-mind for the people who have the power to give you promotions and raises.

"Even if it's once a week, you want to be visible, especially if you're out-of-sight, out-of-mind with your boss" Salemi says. "They may think, 'Ryan is doing an awesome job. I haven't heard a peep out of him.' That's a dream for your boss, but you still want to be seen and heard."

If you currently meet annually with your boss to outline annual goals, ask to up the frequency of your meetings, Salemi says. "Maybe it's monthly for 30 minutes. Maybe it's weekly for 10 minutes," she says.

It also pays to find ways to regularly show your superiors you're looking to grow.

"Set goals for yourself, like, 'I'm going to come to meetings with two ideas every week,'" Salemi says. "Think outside the box in terms of what your organization's goals are, what your department's goals are, where you fit in, and how you can take charge with certain ideas."

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