First dates can feel like job interviews in that you want to present the most appealing version of yourself. And, like in job interviews, your desire to be understood and liked can come at the expense of your getting to know the person in front of you.

Almost half, 49%, of singles have been on a date where the other person didn't ask them a single personal question, according to a new report by dating app Plenty of Fish.

The best way to make a good first impression is to focus less on yourself and more on your date, says Blaine Anderson, an Austin, Texas-based dating coach and founder of Dating by Blaine.

That means asking thoughtful questions. Most people can grasp this step quite easily, but then tend to fumble the response, Anderson says.

How? By using their date's answer to talk about themselves.

"If your date mentions they had a crazy day at work, instead of shifting the conversation to your crazy day, you can ask your date what psychologists call a 'support question,' to learn more about what made their day crazy, and how they feel," Anderson says.

The 3 ingredients of a good question

Asking someone to expand on what they said or dig deeper into a thought "demonstrates you care" and "demonstrates empathy," communications expert Matt Abrahams told CNBC Make It.

"Those are all valuable tools and assets to have when you're trying to grow your career or deepen relationships," he says.

To make your date feel heard, ask relevant questions that show you were listening. A good question should do three things, Abrahams says:

• Be concise
• Build on what the other person has said — furthering the conversation, rather than paraphrasing or summarizing
• Revolve around a focused idea

To see if there is a potential fit between you two, ask questions that are related to their priorities without outright asking about their priorities, Anderson says.

"You can infer a lot based on their descriptions of how they spend their time, and their relationships with friends and family," she says.

If your date tells you their family was in town the previous weekend, you can follow up with: "How often do you see them?" or "What do they enjoy doing when they visit you?"

These "support questions" show that you were listening and can help you decipher if you two are compatible.

Ask about something that is 'easy to have an opinion about'

You also don't want to come off like you're grilling the other person right upon meeting them.

Your questions should put your date at ease, says Grace Lee, a New York City-based dating coach and founder of A Good First Date.

"The goal of a first date is to make sure you don't pass up on somebody really great," she says. "What you're trying to do is tee them up for success so you can bring out the best of who they are."

Ask about something that is "easy to have an opinion about," Lee says. A cocktail menu, for example, can provide a safe space for people to share inconsequential takes.

"You're at a bar and you ask, 'Oh are you a tequila person?' or 'What's your drink of the season?'" Lee says.

And, while dates and job interviews share some similarities, unlike a job interview dates are supposed to be flirty, Anderson says.

"Be playful and ask questions that will make your date smile," she says. "Delivered the right way, a question like, 'What made you want to meet me for dinner?' can set an encouraging and romantic tone on your date."

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